Go back to Words & Wit pageSAN FRANCISCO -- It was the meanest of elections, with the worst of losers and the least generous of winners. Bill Clinton, though, was a most generous loser. If you're going to be a loser throughout your presidency, you might as well be generous.
News organizations have declared Dianne Feinstein the victor over Michael Huffington, yet Huffington is holding out until every last vote is counted -- probably twice. After all, he paid for those votes fair and square, and he wants to get his $30 million worth.
If the count goes against Huffington, don't count him out. His marriage may depend on his becoming a senator. Watch out, Barbara Boxer.
Kathleen Brown conceded the governor's race by saying, "We lost the battle, but the war has just begun." She picked a heck of a time to start campaigning. Perhaps she means the war to keep Pete Wilson from being elected president in 1996.
In his concession speech in the Senate race in Virginia, Oliver North said that maybe he should have been meaner. This was the meanest race in history. Did he want to import a Stinger missile from Israel, by way of Iran, and shoot it at Chuck Robb's plane?
After Elihu Harris won the Oakland mayor's race, his opponent Ted Dang went
nuts, saying it was a racial election. He vowed to print bumper stickers saying, "Don't blame me. I voted for Dang."
What happened to graceful losers? You're at least supposed to pretend that
someone else printed the dumb bumper stickers.
About the only notes of civility were from old pros Mario Cuomo and Ann Richards, who have seen enough opponents lose over the years to know how to do it.
Of course, opponents of Proposition 187 were very bad losers (understandable, because they were threatened with nonpersonhood). They rioted in the streets of San Francisco. Leave Prop. 187 to the courts, kids.
The model loser of the whole election, strangely enough, was Bill Clinton, the man who singlehandedly increased the unemployment rate among congressional Democrats by 10 percent. He seemed to take their eviction from the Capitol well enough. He chatted with Bob Dole on the phone. At a press conference, he turned on the charm for Republicans the way he is alleged to do for stewardesses. He smiled like Mr. Rogers and urged everyone to take a post-election nap.
Clinton is a gracious man, but there's more to it than that. He has the Republicans right where he wants them: in charge.
For two years, the Republicans have chewed up Clinton the way a pack of pit bulls chews a tasty rubber bone. Now they actually have to do something productive.
For two years, the Republicans have been running against big government. Now they are big government and they must govern. And Clinton just has to sit there with his veto, looking presidential and acting out the conservative side of his personality.
If he could only convert to a Republican like everyone else, he might win in 1996.
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